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The Great Millennial Identity Crisis

millennial identity crisis

What do you do? In our modern world we constantly strike up conversation with this simple question. It’s easy, right to the point, and eliminates any awkward quietness between people just meeting for the first time. We are bombarded by this question, day in and day out, over and over again until we have it scripted like an auto-response or spell-check on an iPhone.

We begin subconsciously valuing what we do, what we can do, or what we have more than who we really are. We have transitioned into existing as consumers instead of living in freedom, trying to purposefully impact the world around us. This is the great millennial identity crisis, and it seems to be motivated by comparison.

Our job is the example I used above, but it doesn’t stop there. We have grown up in an ever changing world with technology giving us tremendous access at our fingertips. We find ourselves sucked into Instagram and other social media platforms, scrolling through our feeds looking indepthly into other peoples lives.

We instantly can compare ourselves using self-sabotaging measurements: job, income, net worth, car, clothes, brands, body image, status, and even talents.

We measure ourselves this way because it is easy. These are highly tangible and quantifiable aspects of our lives, but we end up trying to accumulate more and more to gain self-worth and fulfillment. These measurements are now not measurements, they become who we are. The millennial identity crisis is defined.

My Millennial Identity Crisis

I felt overwhelmed, fearful, anxious, imperfect, and was looking for happiness in the wrong places. A lost millennial wanting to make a difference in the world, busy comparing myself to others that seemed to be having more success, trying to live up to impossible standards with my body image, career path, bank account, among countless others.

I was busy setting inanely high expectations for myself based on people who surrounded me and what I had seen in mainstream media. I had to be perfect in every aspect of my life which led to immense fears that I couldn’t live up to my own standards or what I thought other people were expecting of me. I spent each and every day picking out my flaws, stressing about the ideal image of my life. My insecurities driving every decision, which usually didn’t end up being the best decisions.

I was steadily making strides in the rat race of life, checking off the normal boxes, bored and fearful, not feeling a great sense of passion in the world when adversity struck. I finally hit rock bottom. I had found out that I had a life threatening heart condition called arrhythmogenic right ventricular cardiomyopathy (ARVC). I was deemed imperfect and in a physical sense, where I had tied up a lot of my identity, I was a failure. Heart disease?! Me?! There was no overcoming adversity with the same mindset that I had previously adopted from the modern world.

How to Measure Identity

What I’ve done, and am still trying to do each and everyday is define myself not by external factors and quantifiable measurements, but by my own unique values, beliefs and characteristics. I’m now trying to measure my self-worth with the love I share with other people, my gratitude expressed for everyday aspects of life, and how purposeful I can be with my actions in a meaningful way to serve others.

It’s no longer how much money I earn, what car I drive, what clothes I wear, or my physical appearance. After this realization, I was finally able to fully enjoy my life, no longer overwhelmed by the idea of being perfect. I was proud of my scars, literally and figuratively, which symbolize perfect imperfection.

Your True Identity

What I describe above is ability to separate what we are doing from who we are striving to be. Instead of accumulating success, can we create impact in our lives by getting back to knowing who we really are, what we value, and what we can passionately believe in? Can we live on purpose for our purpose? The answer is yes, and it doesn’t take a traumatic event like my example to motivate that change. We can simply come as we are with an open mind, and dive deep into discovering what our true identity and purpose is.

3 Steps to Finding Your Identity and Purpose

  1. Clearly define your values, beliefs, characteristics, and even our past perceived identity. This takes vulnerability to explore some deeper rooted issues in your life and expose some skeletons in your closet.
  2. Begin using your values as your new metrics which you can use for everlasting fulfillment.
  3. Continually grow in self-awareness and understanding, truly becoming who you really are and building a new life from there with tremendous freedom and fulfillment.

If we can do this then we can spend more time sharing and spreading joy, love, peace, and patience. We can value the right aspects of our lives, and we can understand that our money, talents, and gifts (formerly used as measurements for success) can be used as tools to make a positive impact on the world.

We are changing the story of ourselves, answering the questions, “Who am I? Am I happy?” With this, the millennial identity crisis is evaded.

 

 

Comments · 2

  1. Love this post. I am older and remember the time in my life where I was late 20s to early 30s. This was a defining time where I believed and I really did know a lot about what I was doing but it seemed that you had to be 40 before anyone would take you seriously. So you perform at work and you get a family started and you get to 40 when you are now becoming more of a leader in life but now the kids are older and life is so busy that it is difficult to enjoy. To much to do….enjoy the journey…. it will be difficult but your attitude about the world around you will make you happy or not… it is up to you… The millennial identity is special. Knowledge is at your finger tips but your attitude is everything

    1. Thanks for your perspective! Love having the mindset of always improving throughout each season in our lives. These are definitely defining moments!

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