When I was in school I was definitely the student scared to raise his hand in class. I would sit there, sheepishly looking around when the teacher would ask, “Any questions?” In my mind I was screaming, “Yes, I do! A lot of questions actually.” But my hand wouldn’t move from its comfortable position on the desk.
I remember thinking, if I have these questions somebody else has to have the same ones, shrugging it off and telling myself, “They’ll ask.”
I desperately didn’t want to put myself out there and ask the dreaded dumb question. I could imagine all my classmates turning, pointing their fingers, and laughing historically. Ok, maybe a bit much, but I swear that’s what I thought was going to happen.
So instead, I would sit there, nodding along with the teachers lesson, absorbing what I could trying to fill in the gaps.
BECOME MORE COURAGEOUS
I wasn’t lacking curiosity. My natural curiosity led me to populate my mind with the questions, but I did realize my curiosity was missing something. It was lacking courage. The courage to raise my hand, to take action, to step into the most vulnerable version of myself, and admit that I didn’t know.
That lack of courage was competing with my fear of judgement, scared of what others would think of me if I wasn’t smart enough, if I failed, if I was different, or if I fell short in any way. That fear created a version of myself that I didn’t know either.
BECOME MORE OF THE PERSON GOD CREATED YOU TO BE
It was no longer about math class, asking questions about the quadratic equation. It was now about looking at myself, questioning what I wanted my life to look like, and having the curiosity to explore my God given potential to become more. I was staring in the mirror seeing a divide in who I had become and the person God had created me to become, which surely wasn’t a person handcuffed by this fear of perceived judgement.
BECOME MORE CONFIDENT IN WHO YOU’RE BECOMING
What I’ve learned is growth takes curiosity, curiosity takes courage, and the courage to ask takes a willingness to be vulnerable. Courage isn’t the absence of fear; it’s acknowledging it and acting anyway because you’re curious enough to enter an uncomfortable space to ultimately become more.
We are allowed to step into the unknown, to have fear, to ask others and ourselves tough questions, to be curious about our potential, and seek answers. This is how we find growth in our lives and become more, not just math class.