FINDING HAPPINESS
I was running through the house late for a meeting, flipping couch cushions, rummaging through drawers, ending up on my hands and knees peeking under the furniture, turning the house over frantically. Nothing. I was completely clueless on where my car keys were.
I felt like I had searched everywhere for them so I did the only thing I had left to do, tell my wife Molly that I lost them and ask if she had seen them anywhere.
There is one rule when I lose something, I’m going to search everywhere, and I mean everywhere before I ask Molly. Why? Because every time I tell her I lost something, she looks at me with the most serious of faces and asks “Well, where’d you lose them?”
As funny as that is, it’s insanely frustrating in the moment. I then have to explain to her, “Babe, if I knew that I would’ve found them by now.”
FINDING HAPPINESS IN YOURSELF
Losing something can be so irritating. Searching for it and not being able to find it is even more discouraging. What if it’s not something as simple as car keys? What if the thing you’re constantly on the lookout for is your happiness, ultimately feeling like you’ve lost yourself?
“Well, where did you lose yourself?”
I’ve felt lost many times in my life, like something was missing, like I wasn’t enough, like happiness was the furthest thing from my reach. What happened to me? Where did my happiness go? Where was it hiding? I’ve ended up in a screaming match with a foregone feeling, “The game is over happiness! This isn’t hide and seek, this is supposed to be found and fulfilled.”
THE SEARCH FOR HAPPINESS
The search was always on. Unlike my car keys, we don’t always have a good understanding where happiness could be misplaced. And as time constantly moved on we almost feel like we are losing ourselves more, digging a hole while standing in the middle of it, getting lower and lower in regards to self-esteem and self-worth.
I’ve chased down brief flash-in-the-pan pieces of happiness, misplacing myself in the culture of comparison and insecurities. Looking for fulfillment in new unhealthy things, misguided opportunities, and other aspects of life that would satisfy my thirst for a short season but leave me longing for more. All the while comparing my happiness to others perceived success.
FINDING HAPPINESS IN LIFE
Most of the time we never find what we were looking for. Instead of finding my keys that morning I found an old metal medallion with an engraved angel my grandmother had once given me, a worry stone she called it. A sign, a blessing pointing me in the direction of God.
Throughout that search for happiness I found myself walking into a church, and finally found something that wasn’t necessarily “happiness”. I found a revelation on meaning. I got a glimpse of Jesus and began pursuing Him, giving me a target on the wall and something that would fill my life with growth and significance.
What my new found faith taught me was that happiness is a byproduct of meaning. When we chase down things with purpose, loving relationships and situations that fill us up and bring us joy, then we gain happiness naturally.
Instead of the flash-in-the-pan pieces of happiness that burst in flame and quickly fizzle out, I started to understand that meaning was the big log on a bonfire, once it catches flame it burns forever. Meaningful relationships, conversation, career paths—every meaningful choice led to fulfillment, and fulfillment led to long lasting happiness.
FINDING FULFILLMENT
When I found faith the game of hide and seek was officially over.
When we’re searching for something we’ve lost we usually find something even better for ourselves or within ourselves. I’ve learned that the wandering can be educational, there is significance in the search, and there is purpose in whatever you find along the way.
With each day we have a choice to be happy, but I’ve learned that this choice is actually the pursuit of meaningful moments, and it’s a lot easier than I thought. The pursuit to fully love and fully live.
We can find happiness by changing where we’re searching for it.