LEARNING COURAGE
I walked into my public speaking class my freshman year in college for the very first day. I was planning on becoming a teacher, a coach, a human who uses words the rest of my life in someway or another so I figured I needed to learn how to speak a little more efficiently and effectively.
I picked out an empty seat in the back, walking up the steps in the auditorium styled classroom. As I sat down the teacher walked in, and before setting any of his materials down he began this entire spiel about how public speaking is the number one fear in the world. He said a majority of the people fear speaking in front of a crowd more than death.
I was nodding in agreement with the rest of my new classmates. Yep, I’d rather die please. I was already starting to sweat thinking about the prospect of getting in front of the class and just saying hi, let alone putting together complete sentences with nouns and verbs.
Was it too late to switch classes? They say body language is 80% of communication anyway, speaking can’t be that important can it?
NO COURAGE WITHOUT FEAR
I started thinking about what he was saying, trying to wrap my head around why a large portion of people hated public speaking so much, why there was so much fear, and why I was one of those people. There’s probably so many different reasons, but my answer was simple—failure. My biggest fear wasn’t public speaking, it was putting myself in a vulnerable position and failing at public speaking and everything else in my life.
Fear was like a figure following me around, not just up the stairs to my seat in public speaking class, but everywhere. Picture the killer in any horror movie slowly walking after you, and no matter how fast you run it seems like it’s always gaining on you. My insecurity was like that, my fear constantly pursuing me, gaining on me. It formed tension between my present moments and my dreams, and honestly put a lid on my potential for happiness.
My public speaking class forced me to start questioning my fear along with everyone else’s. I started to look at the people who seemed so confident. What was different? What did they have that I didn’t? What’s the opposite of fear? Courage? It seemed like they were immune to fear.
There’s a story in the bible where Jesus calls his friend Peter out to walk on water. Talk about fear. I didn’t take swim lessons when I was a kid. The best I have is a half-hazard, panic paddle that somewhat resembles a freestyle stroke. I put myself in Peter’s shoes, and I’m more than likely staying in the boat where I’m comfortable.
Peter doesn’t though. He gets out in the middle of a storm, takes a few successful steps towards Jesus and then gets distracted and overwhelmed by fear. When he begins sinking, ultimately failing, Jesus reaches out His hand and pulls him out while asking why he had such little faith?
But maybe that’s all it takes, a little faith.
Because of that I’ve started to believe that’s where courage comes from. Faith. Faith that God is going to reach out a hand, grab hold, and pull me up. Faith that I’m loved before I fail and even if I fail.
CAN COURAGE BE TAUGHT?
I started to understand that the most courageous people didn’t lack fear, they were just the most curious about becoming the person God created them to be. To step out of the boat and show even a little bit of faith like Peter. I quickly learned that my public speaking class wasn’t just a public speaking class, it was a class where I could learn faith and courage.
I don’t remember the assignments or speeches I gave. I don’t even remember the teacher’s name. He just encouraged the class to do things on a daily basis that forced a step out of the boat. To make a practical choice to actually pursue fear, to learn from failure, to grow courage within ourselves while I grew my faith.
You and I can look at fear as lessons to learn courage, because if God is for us then who can be against us? I’m curious enough to live this verse out with at least a little bit of faith.